Saturday, May 14, 2005

Can A Person Live A Long Life And Be Anorexic

instructions

second here, even though they live in the countryside among fields and orchards woods, when the child is asleep, the peasant farm below the attacks with a hammer, planed, drilled, barrels, fire, and other indescribable noises that imply activities' that do not want to think.
But as my son and 'the Antichrist, rather than get headaches like me (and I can not even take a pain killer, damn breastfeeding), I sleep like a log out happy. Like 'can I distract myself a bit.
And as I get distracted? I read the instructions manuals accumulated strollers, portenfant, changing tables and companionship. Definitely have your mom all the way!
The manual of the stroller comes directly from the tomb of Tutankhamen: pages and pages of incomprehensible drawings, light blue on white pages glossy reflective mirror-like, with hands that can perform incomprehensible in parts of the stroller that does not seem to exist in this world, and to interpret it takes an Egyptologist expert in hieroglyphics supported by the national standard of "guess the mystery object." Proper use of this manual and 'read it AFTER you discovered how to free the child from the safety belts. Then everything will clear. Later he became expert and will be 'careful rehearsing without child, avoiding the risk of having to call the fire department to free him from the stroller. The manual station
-bath consists of about six hundred pages written in tiny characters and dense, which explain how to use the pan: bring SUPER STORAGE AND CHANGING WITH PAN DE CAZZIS (TM) registered trademark in the bathroom, place it over your health, taking care not to flush the toilet, fill the water tank making sure that the container cap is not fully inserted into the hole WARNING fill with boiling water as the plastic may melt.
Yes', but my son enjoys it, to make the end of the lobster ...
course, the real baby can 'count on huge pages that explain how to place it on the floor, how to put on the baby and how to make sure not to drop it ("do not leave your baby unattended on the changing table," "keep away from fire" thing, the child or baby? E 'is a fundamental difference ...). Are of course not be held liable 'for abuse of the baby (how the hell do you use a changing table in an improper way? HOW ????)
portenfant The manual is frightening indeed, but now sailed in these sorts of things jump at the foot 'of the hieroglyphs, recommendations, responsibility' and declined to fly directly pressed a few lines at the bottom of the last page, those that explain how to put it in the car. And I feel like crying.
1 Lower the stabilizer (the WHAT?)
2 Place the chair on the seat of the car where you want to install it (ok, but what 'the catch stabilizer?)
3 Pull the seat belt and hook them all 'special buckle (where appropriate? on or in the seat? And baby, when I put him there?)
4 Pass the lap belt in the two side guides of the chair (which guides? But where 'design, because 'but not where they illustrated all guides are cursed ste? And now' we have, what is' a firm stabilizer?)
5 Tilt the handle in position A as shown in Figure 17 by pressing the two buttons control posts on the joints. Grasp the shoulder belt and pull it, thus' live the lap belt, make sure the lap belt is always in the guides (you can repeat that, please?) 6
Keeping tension on the chest strap, pass it in the guide on the back of the backrest. Tension the belt as much 'as possible without leaving excess tape, make sure that is not twisted. (Too late! Anyone help me to free my hands?)
WARNING: Do not switch the seat belt in positions other than those listed in this manual! Compromise the safety of your child! (Thanks, just what I needed to find the inner peace needed to figure it out)

Aha! The next chapter concerns the placement of the child! We must raise the heir (who at this point would only be given up for adoption) before proceeding.

7 Open the flap of tissue, placed on the seat, push the button metal placed under it and still holding it down, pull the two belts of the chair (EEEEEEEEEEHHHH ?????)
8 Loosen the belt buckle of the seat, pressing the red button, place the child in the carseat. (From a young age taught me to never press the red button, and then I have yet to figure out what's the catch stabilizer ...)
9 Fasten the lap of the seat, tighten your seat belt, being careful not to overtighten the baby (finally something I understand! But where the armchair wearing a safety belt?)

After spending half a day to decipher deadly signs of harness to be inserted into slots B according careful not to hit the support C otherwise the car explodes, the husband gets tired, takes portenfant, places it in the car with all the baby and fasten your seat belts.
I take a piece of paper, I write above "putting the child in the chair lacing straps that goes over the peas and not down, put everything in the car wearing a seat belt that will go through those things' that are made on purpose, to be careful not to have too narrow, and start from scoured, "puts it on the fridge and throw away the manual, but even so 'bothers me' cause clogs up the trash.
And the shadow of the walker to purchase their first steps upon us ...

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